As we get closer to the end of the year, I’m going back more and more to check out my photography work of 2009. The year has been busy, without a doubt, and I managed to capture over 25 thousand images. However, the sad part is how many of those 25 thousand actually came out to be good enough to be called pictures…probably about 15-20, if that. Out of those 15-20, only 2-3 are the ones that others seem to like, more or less. Going through thousands of photographs and NOT seeing anything good is pretty darn depressing. Makes me wonder what a hell I have been doing all this time.
Life has been getting busier at work and at home and I haven’t had a chance to put some thought into my photography. What is my style? What is my message and what do I want to communicate in my pictures? What do I want to achieve and what are my goals and ambitions? Where do I start? This mental disarray has created an endless, chaotic maze that I’m having a hard time getting out of. It almost seems like I’m in a loop, taking too many turns, instead of just staying on one avenue, pursuing one goal.
I don’t want to sound like I’m going through a crisis, but I really do want to put an end to this madness. After spending hours browsing through my work this week, I finally asked myself a question today: What is my passion? My heart tells me it is landscape photography and wildlife. I really enjoy doing it, because it requires a lot of hard work and patience. I love challenges and lots of work, but patience is not my thing, at least that’s what my wife tells me :) Nevertheless, I want to give it a try and see what I can achieve. So from this point on, I want to focus on landscape and wildlife photography. I also want to put some thought into creating my own style, but that might turn out to be an unrealistic goal, since it takes years to build it up…we’ll see.
Nasim Mansurov